Firstly, the "Are you a CRAZY bitch? test" is not anything that a crazy bitch would ever take. Not according to my definition of bitch, anyway.

I saw my psychologist yesterday, and it didn't go as problem free as other visits. We started with me disagreeing with her reasoning behind the hand out she gave me a couple of weeks back. I think it may have made her unhappy that I was essentially questioning her judgment, saying it was flawed in the ways that her photocopied page discussed.

Then we did the testing to get a baseline for my cognitive functions. I was doing some and thinking 'Can we just skip the Alzheimers bits?', then some I was thinking 'This is like those Oliver Sacks books.'. There was the bit where she crossed her legs to purposefully make something difficult. I mentioned 'that's on purpose', then nutted it out.

And now I'm pissed off because - I know I did shit. She says I did awesome and I got a little clap. I tried to explain, no, for me this is real shit. So, apparently the population at large has a working memory of 6 digits (+/- 2), and I'm awesome. Six digits is fucking shit. Being able to write down a sentence just read to me is not a marker of intact ability. I am better off with my kids games.

If this is as good as most people get - everyone is retarded. I'm kind of fucked off that the retard scale is the official way to judge my abilities. It says I'm doing super, but by my scale I know there are problems.

But it is kind of fascinating that I rate being average as mentally crippled. There's a whole world of people out there and I have no idea of the coping skills they have developed to survive their appalling deficits.