Went and saw my counsellor today. This guy in the waiting room asked me if I was Lynne. And did I know (long time friend of mine)? Because he was (this guy I used to know and told in clear terms never to speak to me again, 7(?) years ago). So I moved beyond 'Yep', and said (guy's surname).

Then I looked away. He really fuckin' pissed me off last time he got in touch.

He tried again in a couple of minutes, by telling me he has schizophrenia and depresion. I'd guessed, just because he has the anti-psychotic weight. And we were both at the mental health place and all. He asked how I was, and all I could do was gesture at the surrounds... and there we both were.

I ended up giving him an email contact, just because he seemed so rock-bottom. In the way some people do when they start talking about how they keep themselves busy. Some people don't seem to have a hot little 'fuck you' core to them. Life has obviously beaten the crap out of both of us, but only one of us says 'fuck you' afterward.

Sad.

I saw him on the way to the station afterward. He asked what I was listening to. I forgot to allow for schizophrenia, and said 'Combichrist'. He got this eye twitching blink going - but made a good, non-psycho save.

For anyone that also knew him - he's the guy from primary school. In grade two I attacked him with an umbrella, and he kicked my arse. We met up again during the period when I was going out with 'drug addled weasel', I think maybe social drinking was involved. That period has some hazy bits. Then he started heroin. Then he pissd me right off.

He just seemed so damn sad today, I broke my junky rule. Hope that wasn't a mistake.

And the counsellor was fine. I told her my funny story about having a phone thrown 'in my general direction', and how I need to 'suck it up' and just get a job so I can move.